I love the whole chess comparison, it’s right on spot. And maybe it’s just in our nature (I know it is mine) to be chatterbugs that gives us the edge over guys. LOL

@Yvonne_Lyon

you bring up really good questions that deserve an article in itself!

(1st - keep in mind “gurus” aren’t necessarily “influencers”.)

And I think more and more women ARE being sought after in regards to being the experts in Social Media.

Now let’s explore a new way of thinking about this:

If women are not getting the opportunities because they feel they’re not being “sought after” perhaps THAT is the problem.

Business is NOT the same as dating.

If women are used to being “sought after” then they may need to shift their focus and try a new strategy and SEEK OUT the opportunities they want for themselves.

That’s what men have always been great at b/c they get a lot of practice from their early years of dating. They get used to enough rejection that they don’t take it personally or let it thwart their pursuits.

They just say NEXT! And move to create the next opportunity for themselves.

If women want the opportunity, they need to start connecting and supporting each other just as men do and CREATE the opportunities they want - just like men do.

Ahhh - but that’s for the next article

That being said, you may also find that what men consider social is not the same as what women consider social. So, just because the tweat isn’t interesting to you, doesn’t mean the tweat isn’t interesting to someone else.

Ya know.. if a guy wrote post like this, he’d immediately be called sexist. Dangerous ground you are on. But, from what you’ve said on Twitter, you already know that.

That said, I still like to make sure I really have things of value to share. Writing on places like Squidoo and Hubpages comes natural because I can write and edit until I’m happy. Twitter is more spontaneous. It all comes down to value rather than promotion for me - what can I share that will be of value to my followers?

It’s all a learning process - and it’s so much fun.

Great post!

Being a Dad myself I will confess that my wife is a better manager of kids and influencer. I am sure that analogy can be carried on to the real world. If influencer is a quality that all women have, you are right that it helps them better in the New Media. Listening and participation are some key human traits that are useful in the New media and any individual who has them will be successful.

Your post is thought provoking and informative.

Thanks,

Shashi

Yvonne - re: ‘chatterbugs that gives us the edge over guys” ooooh if my “loquacious” qualities give me an edge in new media - I’ll TAKE it! And then shove it in my 5th grade teachers face w/ her “not so positive report card that I was “loquacious” and needed to be quiet” yah! take THAT Mrs. D! hahaha

Dave - go ahead - DO IT! Call me Sexist - ya KNOW ya wanna! Do it!

Deb - “Well, who can be bored when you have Twitter on your blackberry” - EXACTLY!!! or on your iPhone - I’m never bored or anxious waiting on lines anymore! Twitter is my calming device when my Type A personality wants to kicks in while I wait for the turtle in front of me to MOVE!

Lori - ooooh your question retains the SECRET 2 success in Social Marketing, “what can I share that will be of value to my followers?”

Shashi - keep it up - it’s the learning that’ll give you the edge over other men who think they can enter the new media marketplace doing the “same ol’ things” they’ve always done. They’ll be left behind - while you’ll soar ahead - by following the leadership of women. Follow Lori’s advice above & you’ll be miles ahead of the crowd.

You write with great insight into a new realm of marketing. I never felt the glass ceiling and never even thought about the power of influence.

I follow some interesting men who get the conversation, but you are so right about many of the big bloggers just linking to themselves and not getting the power of twitter.

I think women have had the girlfriend conversation going on when men didn’t make the time. The chatterbug also might stem from the innate ability to speak in small bites to children.

@JeanetteJoy

Individuals are unique is so many ways. Sex is a big one for sure. Personalities, culture, talents make us different to.

The real power in these new technologies is that we can reverse the trend of mass media, mass production, and mass distribution and address individuals.

Right now, the people who appear to “get it” and excel on Twitter, et al are still innovators, but there are still billions who have never heard of this, don’t write even 140 characters in a day.

Compared to them, the guy who uses Twitter to post a link is way out front.

I’d imagine that for every person posting ANYTHING, there are 10-100 lurkers reading posts, or maybe signing up for an account and wondering what all the fuss is about.

When I consider the big picture, I’m even more excited to think how wonderful it is that I’ve been able to connect with so many smart and intereting people on Twitter.

We’re just getting started people.

once again - spoken like a true woman!

Oh! Except for calling me sexist. That was pure man.

Thank you! Finally someone acknowledging the concepts in the post really IS biased/sexist. Other men who came before you were still too scare of the political correctness movement to call me names. haha

Way 2 acknowledge the men who are using Twitter as early adopters. Whether they use it properly or ruin it for the masses is yet to be seen.

But - good thing I’ve always got my ears to the ground for the next best social network. Cuz that’s where me & the girls will be hopping once Twitter Robots take over.

I do think influence is correlated with gender: to your point, women *seem* to have edge here. Whether genetic, socialized, or due to small sample + stereotyping….I’m not sure. At the same time, there are plenty of examples of “bulls in a china shop women” (in other words, less “influential” and more “control”) and men who are the opposite. Warren, Robert, others are good examples.

Maybe it’s less gender per se and more social conditioning: the traditional family, where Mom tends to play child-raising role might be a big factor: as Dads are learning (as they take on “stay at home Dad” roles or similar…) they too are learning that you can’t *tell* a child what to do–you have to use influence. Moms–who are often also in the workplace–have been practicing influence “at home” for a long, long time. I’d say it’s a safe bet that the typical 1920s - 50s Dad *told* people what he wanted done…but Mom actually made it happen (no doubt, through influence.)

For sure, we (all, collective) see this playing out on Twitter — Twitter is a near perfect “online” analog to table-hopping in a restaurant. Control (in this context) is pretty much useless — it is almost a pure “influence” environment. The same dynamic sets up in social media when applied to marketing versus traditional media. The latter is command and control: I define my pessage and push it out. The former (sm) is influence + participation: I “suggest” something and the community picks it up, amplifies or rejects it, plays with it, shares it, or ignores it. The lack of control in social media is a fear point for many marketers, just as the recognition of the role of (earned) influence, as you’ve developed in your post, is more difficult to master than (designated, for example by title) control.

Great post. Made me think.

oooh music to me ears (Irish accent)

I love hearing I got someone THINKING.

You really raised VERY good points.

Ooooh this is all good - all stimulating the NEXT article in the series.

Thank you for contributing - both here AND on Twitter.

YOU are a guy who GETS IT on Twitter.

Welcome to the Club

I think today we are seeing a transformation in the roles of male and female that is departing greatly from past history. We evolved as humans from conditions that placed heavy emphasis on survival … the males were generally charged with the duties of war, protection, hunting food and similar activities relying heavily on physical strength.

While they could be social among their comrades, they tended to be wary of strangers. Competition for dominance also was a strong influence on men’s behavior.

Now we find ourselves in an era where physical strength is not always so important to rising to the top of our fields of endeavor (athletes and manual labor excepted).

As for social skills, men often are motivated more by sizing up their competition, ie: evaluating the potential threat (competition)of others. Men are also looking for potential allies to help us achieve our own goals and ambitions.

We may also see women as potential partners that can help us succeed as well as to produce admiration from other men. Having a wife and family can often profoundly change a male’s views on responsibility and motivation to succeed.

I don’t say these are necessarily the right or best character traits, just that we have a long, long history of being conditioned as males to place great emphasis on them.

Changing such inherent behavior comes more quickly for some than for others. Behavior for both males and females is usually the result of experiences, especially our childhood experiences.

Those who were raised by stay at home Moms probably had different experiences, heavily influenced by a female (mom), than those raised by working moms whose role was more similar to the traditional dad role in many ways.

All in all, I do like the direction that Web 2.0 and the New Media Marketplace are moving in and if women take the lead and show the way, I have no hesitation about letting them influence me.

If something works, I want to embrace it … what difference does it make whether it originated from a male or a female?

Al Hannigan

Women are natural communicators. We seem to have the ability to put words together with such articulation in getting our point across. Many women seem to always come up with the right thing to say at the right time. Some think the estrogen levels in our bodies contribute to our natural abilities to communicate. This natural characteristic benefits us in business relationships, as we are able to implement various means of communications that assist us in networking, marketing, and customer service. Having a way with words exemplifies power, and power is exactly what today’s businesswoman has a wealth of!

An additional trait that is found in women is our ability to be a multitask machine. In contrast to men, our brains are equipped to process a diverse amount of information at once. As we rapidly process information, we are able to move through the details of each task and perform several things at once. This accounts for our ability to manage multiple telephone lines, type a detailed report, prepare lunch, and wash a load of clothes all at the same time. Men, however, are lineal thinkers. They tend to focus on doing one thing at a time, moving in a step-by-step procedure in accomplishing their tasks.

Differences in the chemical make up of men and women create differences in how men and women position themselves. While men tend to put more emphasis on rank, women are more concerned with creating a happy balance between family and work. Men tend to be more natural-born protectors while women are natural-born nurturers. These characteristics rank women high in people skills, thus contributing even more to their success. Why? Women use these natural abilities to form, cultivate, and foster business relationships, therefore, creating lasting business associations in her business circle.

With the opportunities available to women today, there has never been a better time to be a woman in business than now. By honing in on their natural talents, women are experiencing a level of success that was unimaginable to their equals years ago. Women have always had the abilities… we are just now realizing the opportunities!

All good things,
Bonnie

P.S. But… this by no means makes men inferior to women or a woman more influential in business than her male counterpart. If anything it just proves the male and female species do tasks in a different manner to get the SAME results.

I think I’ll turn this response into an article now. LOL
Thanks for the opportunity to post my opinion!

Well the GOOD news re: to “self-promotion” is that when you engage your tribe properly in the new media marketplace - YOU don’t have to be self-promotional! Your tribe will promote how cool you are FOR you!

I do tend to agree with you on one level about gender differences. Women are typically more skilled at forming & maintaining warm relationships.

However, a topic close to my heart is personality assessments. And the person you’re describing in your post here is indeed an Influencer, or “High I” on the DISC model (”I” = influence). Someone with more Extroversion tendencies on Myers Briggs - they’re expressive, talkative, outgoing; they get their energy from interacting with people (Introverts get their energy from alone time).

Definitely a person with a strong need for Social Contact, Interdependence and likely Curiosity and Status too on the Reiss Desire Profile (measures 16 intrinsic motivations).

Sooooo, I typically relate to the world through the filters of all these assessments I’ve studied, and reckon while there are typical patterns for men and for women, men could be just as much of an Influencer as women.

My $0.02.

@marismith

Ahhhh now you’re jumping ahead to the NEXT article series!

I do wonder however, how many more women are Natural born Influencers AKA: “I” (using the DISC behavioral assessment model) than men.

Do you know if there is a study with that type of statistical research?

I agree that social networking taps into the strengths of women: multitasking, relationship building, and getting to the heart of a situation are traits that many (not all) women share.

I happen to be one of those intuitive, outgoing, relationship building types (E-something on the meyers briggs) so social networking is perfect for me.

The hard sell, pitchathon approaches don’t fit here at all. A lot of internet marketers are dirtying the waters with their style. We need to look at the 20 somethings and follow their leads- disdain for hard sell, using technology to communicate intimacy and status levels, finding what brings us together.

Seeing your comments that people think this is sexist makes me chuckle… OK, I need to dig into my graduate work in women’s studies for this one but listen up folks: Sexism is an institutionalized form of discrimination. Until this is a woman run world, it is impossible for a woman to be sexist. She can have a bias, she can have prejudices, but she cannot be sexist.

Keep at it Deb, you rock!

@NancyMarmolejo on Twitter

Cheryl Brownlee

I love what you suggested re:

“We need to look at the 20 somethings and follow their leads …”

Powerful advice.

But re:
“It is impossible for a woman to be sexist.”

I have to disagree.

I’m afraid if you dig into your graduate work in women’s studies you’ll be doing yourself a disservice because last century was a very different world - before New Media.

Now that we’re living in a Post New Media world - women DO have the power online and they’re wielding it rather well with the firestorm of word-of-mouth marketing or taking people down a notch.

They’re using their power online with their pocketbooks and only rewarding those who she deems worthy. Women are funding businesses, serving as angel investors, and making policy decisions - all signs of “institutional power”. Not that the “institution has anything to do with New Media Marketing where a new surge of power is building.

But I’m open for discussion and debate on this subject.

Can women be sexist?

Anyone? Nancy? Anyone?

Where you and I can converge on this topic is this: as women we hold enormous power and Web 2.0 is our playing field.

Let’s keep the sisterhood alive and support each others success!

all the best,

Nancy

@NancyMarmolejo on Twitter

And yes I believe we can be sexist in the same way men can be…it is a power thing… not all men or women are sexist.

@LindaZimmer on twitter

Hijack away!

I love this discussion! And healthy debate is always a good thing in a free society.

I do love how all these women are here supporting me saying no way am I sexist. Ahhh gotta luv the sistahood eh?!

I luv what you do. Keep it up! And let’s continue the debate on Twitter tonight shall we?

I always get a kick out of people who contrast one classes against the other, one nationality against the other, or one gender against the other, as though one is “better” or “superior” to another. I didn’t get that from your post.

Because you simply point out some strengths that women have that are typically deficient in men, does not make you sexist (at least not “totally” sexist anyway Women have a lot of incredible qualities I can think of that men don’t have, nor would I want to have. I would much rather enjoy them from the perspective of a woman. It’s just the way it is. It’s a natural kinda thing that we were all built with (er um, I mean “you” were built with).

Guys have qualities that women don’t have too. No, really, I’m not kidding! It’s not like I’m sexist if I bring this to anyone’s attention. It’s just a fact. These qualities enable both sexes to do things the other sex is less capable of (or not capable at all in some instances), and thereby enjoy life to its fullest. That’s what makes life a beautiful thang!

Youz gots stuffs that weez don’t gots, and thats a fact!

Good article well thought-out and well written.

Are you sexist? If allowing yourself to acknowledge that there is a distinct benefit to the feminine means you are sexist, then the answer is yes.

We men, are products of societal and cultural programming. Not an excuse, just a fact. Many women accept certain roles because of this as well.

I have 3 sisters and 3 daughters, no brothers or sons. So I had a strong feminine influence in my life. It has helped me many times in my life but also caused problems with male bonding.

I have noticed that on the web, a truly equal opportunity employer, that many women have risen to the top and are doing very well. I feel if men don’t wake up to the fact they we are being outplayed, outwitted, and outlasted, the tables will turn.

The best would be balance both in individuals and groups. I always cringed when I heard women fighting for equal rights, I also saw them as having the advantage. We men use force and strength to get our way, women use charm, guile and play mens emotions to change things.

Yes, women have a distinct advantage and that is a good lesson for us men. I used to think Oprah was just for women but have learned what is shared there is good for life.

I do confess I am one of those who wonder what good is Twitter. It might be that I didn’t know how to use it and had no followers. If you Tweet and nobody reads it, was there actually a Tweet?

WOW! You really DO “get” women! I’m VERY impressed! (and I really don’t impress easily.)

Now I wanna follow you on Twitter! Trust me - once you have a Tweetersation with me on Twitter - you WILL have followers - more followers than you can handle perhaps?

PS: hmmm… are you a Survivor fan?

Now I too am happy for the differences between men & women, and always try to let men be men…

Now ladies & gentlemen who are reading this, believe me this does not make me a damsel in distress, nor a push over. I am a powerful, liberated women, just able to communicate and get what I need from the men in my life with out manipulation or need to fight it out or overpower. And since when women are in business mode they seem to take on masculine traits, I am able to use the same ways of being and communication and get the same easy results at work.

Yes I too am happy for the differences both at work and at home, it has made my life much more powerful & peaceful at the same time

@LindaZimmer

Yes, you are totally sexist. Yes, you have a point. A very good point.

I’ll also point to a comment I left on one of Alice Seba’s blog posts here:

Is This Sweetie Stuff Just for Women?
http://snipurl.com/imssdm

All success
Dr.Mani

Finally! Men able to admit my comments/post was indeed - sexist.

@davelakhani here!

Nice post with some very interesting ideas.

I’m inclined to not see you post so much as sexist as I am seeing it as using tension to make a point, and this post demonstrates that nicely.

There is no qualitative research that indicates women are better at influencing or persuading than men. In fact, much of the research points in the other direction. Much of that may have to do with social evolution over the years, men have traditionally taken roles of power in society and government. As a result, they’ve developed into more impactful figures as it relates to influence or persuasion. Still (and hopefully not for long, I have a 4 year old daughter) men hold the predominent positions of power in the world, a lot of that has to do with women being ineffective at creating meaningful persuasion or influence strategies to get society to see them as being able to take an equal (and rightful) place in positions of power.

Women are naturally good at what most people term seduction though throughout history there is more equality in the level of seduction than anywhere else. Seduction done right keeps the desire brimming, unfulfilled, and peaked again for long periods of time.

Sex continues to be a means of raising tension in any conversation. And, when aroused, people tend to make much different decisions and less carefully than they imagined. There is a great deal of research around this done by MIT professor Dan Ariely whom I interviewed recently that you can listen to at boldapproach.com/replay.

In terms of social media I haven’t seen any evidence that traditional communication styles have changed between men and women. Both continue to communicate the way they do in the new medium as much to the chagrin of many. The Forrester research encapulated in the book Groundswell doesn’t seem to indicate that either.

The bottom line is that the more people study the persuasion and seduction strategies that you teach and integrate them into their social media interactions and give up the need to remain in control of the media the more successful they become. Social media is the where memes thrive.

Tension is one tool that creates message contagion in any media online or off.

Dave Lakhani
Author: Subliminal Persuasion: Influence and Marketing Secrets They Don’t Want You To Know &
Persuasion: The Art of Getting What You Want

I think this is because of the male mind’s bias towards heightened focus, which is one reason - I suggest - why so many more men still ‘get to the top’ than women. This extends into the way men communicate - in my experience, it’s usually a lot more direct, forthright, and to the point. On the other hand, women tend to be better multi-taskers and have more of a 360° communication style, which is more tapped into emotional subtleties and, as a result, tends to be less direct. I know when I get together with female friends the number of tangents far outweigh those in my conversations with most men.

@markgilbert has a good point - weez gots stuff that youz don’t and vice versa!

Inspired by your lively debate to find out whether I’m talking a load of nonsense, or whether there’s any research to back any of this up I found this -http://tinyurl.com/56dr9k

I think I’m still on the side of nature, not nurture.

Now I may be a weird one but I never saw this as a male/female thing. I guess “growing my career” in a male-dominated society called Motorola I just learned to tune it out and do what I do naturally to leap forward. Or maybe I just adapted too much male energy (my google guy think’s I’m from the East Coast cause I’m so results-driven.)

That being said, what I think is really fascinating is that I actually enjoy the posts from alot of the male twitters often more than the female twitters…

Or maybe, I just relate more to their style?

I’m a huge “I” in DISC and a big connector but often I experience the barage of random thoughts a bit innane. Maybe because I am so focused on “high payoff activities” that I appreciate the posters who get to the point. =-)

Thought I’d throw out a different POV from the female who thinks like a male but has a way of connecting with both.

@melcoach on twitter.

PS The best part of all though is noticing that everyone has a style that works for someone — good to equally attract your ideal and repel the people who will never get you anyway, right?

I love your POV! Thank you SO much for sharing.

From what you’ve shared - it sounds like you’ve got a high “D” too (from the DISC model - or what we use to discover someone’s “Communication Code”). What’s the number?

It also sounds like you have a high need for results - and using the Motivation Assessment Code - that would be a Strong Utilitarian. So regardless if they’re male OR female - you’ll enjoy the tweets that get to the point & give you something of value.

Am I right in this assumption?

As 4 your PS - youuuu betcha! That’s the idea girlfriend!
(Now I’m off to Tweet you from @CoachDeb to @MelCoach cuz you sound uber cool!)

Always great hearing from you.

Thanks for posting the URL to your interview with MIT professor Dan Ariely. Sounds rather stimulating - I’ll go listen to it after I publish this comment.

Do you have a post where my readers can comment on the subject? I’m sure I’ll have lots to say when I listen to it. Hot Topic for sure!

hmmm… re: how men have
“developed into more impactful figures as it relates to influence or persuasion…”

Isn’t that relative to the area of society you’re referring to?

Afterall, can’t we say that “traditionally” women have had a more impactful and influential role on society on the children they have raised?

Dave Evans (Comment #12) had me thinking about that angle which hadn’t even come into my consciousness when I wrote this article. Very good point Dave. (hmm… interesting how all the “Dave’s” are making great points in this great debate.

Afterall, if Edison wasn’t home schooled by a woman, would we even be able to type this right now? Or would we still be living by candlelight because academia punishes diverse and independent thinkers?

While men have typically enjoyed the glory and fame of these positions of power, there has always been a woman’s influence behind him. Wouldn’t you agree?

Guess that’s why “they” say:
“Behind every great man is an influential woman.”

Hey - good point bringing up the subject of women and their use of “seduction”. Ahhh… so many ideas for future articles.

PS: Can’t wait to get my hands on your new book,”Subliminal Persuasion”! Warren Whitlock mentioned it came out early release! Guess they responded to the public cries for it!

(perhaps it’s time for a Hawaii book tour?
hmmmm? say no more?)

See ya on Twitter Dave!

Looking forward to a Hawaii book tour for sure!

If people want to listen to the replay and comment on it they can do it here:
Bold Approach reply line

I don’t think in terms of persuasion whether or not
Mother’s are impactful on their children is relevant. If they don’t now how to teach them to be persuasive, if you value persuasion, they fail to have impact, if they do, they can have impact. At the end of the day societal conformity and expectation will dictate who is in a position to persuade. Interestingly I think that what is happening in the Presidential race will make headway and I think even Carly the former CEO of HP is showing that there is a change underway, but these changes take a long time. Until that change I think that decisions in Western society to be sure large social decisions will still often be made by men. I want to be clear I don’t find that a necessisarily valuable construct and I certainly hope for my daughter’s sake that it changes or that I teach her powerful enough persuasion skills that she makes the change. The other side of your argument about women and mothers is that they are responsible for the failure of their children to be persuasive because they didn’t have enough impact . . .

I also don’t think that it is relevant that Edison was homeschooled by a woman, it could have been either a man or a woman with the same level of skills and understanding of learning (his mother at one point was a teacher). Edison had a certain level of natural talent that when combined with his willingness to experiment and keep testing new ideas and learning (after homeschooling) being resiliant and having strong observational skills led him to many of his discoveries. Not suggesting his mother didn’t play an important role, she clearly did. But, had his father had the same set of skills he could easily have done the same, his education was by a woman, not as a result of her being a woman.

Would I agree that there has always been a woman behind a man, I guess that depends how you perceive the role the woman played. There is no question that in some cases women were helping or even controlling what the men said and did, but historically those are much more exceptions than the rule. I don’t buy into cliches like “behind ever good man is a good woman.” I don’t think those ideas are helpful nor do I see them advancing women, I see them holding them in place . . . behind a man. I don’t want that for my daughter.

You see, part of understanding subliminal persuasion is seeing the memeplexes where they exist and understanding how to root out the fnords before they take hold in the mind of my daughter.

I think that creating divides between men and women and saying that one is better than the other at non biologically driven things is dangerous. I think that it forwards stereotypes I’m not comfortable with.

When I was in a cult women were inferior because of a pervasive (and to many persuasive) mythology that said woman was made from the rib of a man. And the interpretation was that they were therefore inferior and had less worth. Convenient for men, not great for women.

The attempts to make one sex better than the other at anything only encourages defensiveness and unnecessary one upsmanship. A better tool is to simply perform. Do what you do best and let others see through the example that in fact women are as capable as men and vice versa.

On the topic of seduction, a woman once told me that she could outsell me simply because she had breasts and men would pay attention to her because of it. I was willing to wager, she displayed her breasts and sold (she said she just had to show them to get the sale) and then I’d sell and winner take all at the end, she could choose the product. She wouldn’t take the wager and was smart not to, that kind of thing doesn’t work, seduction is more elegant than that.

Now, dear reader, if you’ve read this far, you’ll realize that I’m employing one of the most powerful tools of persuasion, tension. I’m not trying to challenge Deb in a way that will cause the end of our friendship (I care deeply about Deb and JP and I’m confident they know that). What I’m doing is allowing the tension, the intensity to build by challenging her ideas and causing you to read on. I’m polarizing some of you, another powerful persuasion tool. Even the tweet that I sent was designed to create a certain level of tension, would Deb still be my friend? Would I offend her? How would she react. It causes a certain kind of desire in a targeted audience to want to read more.

Nice work Deb, you’ve got people thinking.

Dave Lakhani
Author: Subliminal Persuasion : Influence and Marketing Secrets They Don’t Want You To Know &
Persuasion: The Art of Getting What You Want

While I might not like what you said, I can’t argue about what you said re:

“decisions in Western society to be sure large social decisions will still often be made by men.”

Like it or not - presidential elections in the US are swayed one way or another by men.

Is it because women stay home and do NOT exercise their right to vote thinking their vote doesn’t matter? Or because of the way the policies are structured? OR are they just “too busy” to make their voices heard?

With all the fuss going on with the “super” delegates making the decisions on who will get the right to run for President I guess I see why they think their vote doesn’t count, and therefore they give up their right to influence an election.

As for Edison - ok - here’s where I’ll argue with you till I’m blue in the face (whatever THAT means).

Edison was NOT homeschooled by a man.
He was homeschooled by a woman.

And that’s my point.

Compare “traditional” teaching methods, structure of public schools, etc. where they reward perfection, punish mistakes and expel free thought to a home school environment where the child is nurtured and encouraged to explore.

You’ve got one methodology (public school) created by men where the teacher stands as the authority in a dictatorship like role.

And the other (home schooling) where the child is learning through exploration, trial and error, continually encouraged by their mother’s influence to keep on going, try another way, keep questioning things. This is no doubt a more feminine style of teaching through influence - not dictatorship.

And with the rise of home schooling - I think THAT is a testiment to how women are shaping “large social decisions” today.

BTW: I’m not into cliches either - thus you’ll notice how I revised what “they” say. And my point was that it was about the PAST - not the future. B/c quite frankly - I’m w/ you. I don’t think women belong behind her man either. I think men are much better positioned these days behind their women.

But I don’t know if our society is ready for that. Just look at the democratic party for evidence of this.

BTW: I loved reading your reply - as always your writing is captivating, engaging, and with every paragraph, I couldn’t wait to get to the next! It’s no surprise you’re a best selling author Dave!

Ok - I’d love to stay and debate more with you (one of my favorite past times - esp when I’m right but I’ve gotta get on Amazon and go buy your latest book “Subliminal Persuasion”!

Can’t wait to pull an all-nighter w/ your book, they’re always such great page-turners!

Thanks. I don’t believe I fully understand women, at least not all. I do try. Thanks for that comment. Envy you guys living on North Shore. I spent 4 years on Oahu, but down in Pearl City area. I headed up to North Shore as often as possible.

Sunsets on Sunset Beach, 10 meter waves at Waimea.

I am a fan of Survivor of sorts. With a military background my concept of survivor is fulfilling basic needs but I soon learned it is more social survival, influence, persuasion, deceit etc.

Happy to see Dave Lakhani here. I love his books and my copy of his latest just arrived via Amazon. Now that it is May I will be ordering your book. Seems interesting.

Keep up the good work

Mahalo for your reply. Waimea is certainly one of my top 5 beaches here. Absolutely breathtaking isn’t it?

With your military background the “reality” show Survivor must be such a joke (and bit of an insult) to you. I’ve got to admit the show’s original appeal actually lost its lure after 9/11 tragedy when people were truly put in real survival situations.

I caught an episode last week and saw a group of conniving, catty women manipulating the men in their tribe - which perhaps was the catalyst for this post? LOL hmmm… anyhoo

Yah - Dave Lakhani rocks. Met him years ago at a relatively boring conference when we both wound up cutting out into another room, chatting for hours about business, life, the laws of influence, persuasion and manipulation tactics of psychics, shiesters and cold readers. Wound up to be one of the most stimulating chats in a long time.

Guess that’s why I love Twitter so much. I don’t have to leave my lil island in order to connect w/ some of the most brilliant minds on the planet. I just have to log on to my computer and Voila! Brilliance awaits stimulation.

See ya on Twitter?
@CoachDeb

There are many great women technology leaders. @Charlene Li from Forrester as an example. She is co-author with Josh Berman of the Great book Groundswell. I did an interview of her here: Groundswell Interview

The bottom line is that a persons ability to communicate has nothing to do with their gender. Blanket statements like one is better than the other is old fashioned thinking. Just my thoughts.

You can follow me here. http://twitter.com/rumford

Be Great!

ahhhh I see the feminists have indeed successfully influenced you to see no differences between men and women and their styles of communication and influence.

regarding your comment:
“Blanket statements like one is better than the other is old fashioned thinking.”

Personally, I’m of the opinion that women do have different strategies and ways of thinking than men. Whether that’s nature, nurture, personality, communication styles, values, upbringing, etc. or the way their brains are wired differently than men, we do things differently.

I also think it’s a good time to be a woman, because we’ve finally reached a place in business where we can now celebrate our differences, and utilize each of our strengths accordingly - instead of trying to pretend we’re all alike and aren’t different from one another. What a boring world that would be! right?

BTW: Thanks 4 sharing the interview with Charlene Li from your Face Reviews site. It’s been great following you on Twitter too!

The one thing that i just cant wrap my tiny brain around is you saying that you were “merely pointing out that connecting and influencing people is not something that comes naturally to men. ”

How does the ability of “SOME” women to engage in thoughtful conversation on twitter and the inability of “SOME” men to do the same amount to “influencing”? Connecting, sure. But INFLUENCING? I doubt it.

I am rarely influenced by someone, male or female, simply because they are able to hold my attention in a conversation. If they have the most engaging style in the world, and have me enraptured, but i dont need, want or care about “their product”, they wont influence me one bit.

Some of the most enjoyable of my contacts, yourself include, have still yet to get my to their blogs. I only went to yours today, after 3-4 weeks of being engaged and enraptured by you, because I was curious what you did to cause such a stir I *LOVE* Gary Vaynerchuck, and subscribe to his Podcast, and even bought this month’s Secret Pack, but have yet to “drink the Kool Ade” and buy his new book. Not because he isnt engaging and interesting and influencing, but because, i have no want need or desire.

So this paradigm that you hold, that women are more influencing, and men aren’t, based on their ability to hold conversations on twitter, seems a tad flawed. At least that’s how I see it. I am sure there’s some empirical research done or being done to prove it, with test case after test case showing how Eve influenced Adam to bite the apple, and it hasnt stopped yet. I just dont think it’s necessarily based on the acitivty on twitter or other social media.

Now .. maybe the influence is based on “sex”. Not male v female, but the whole “sex sells” idea. Do a man’s endorphins kick in when he’s “engaged” by a woman, so much so that some chemical reaction makes him more easily influenced? And it’s not REALLY what she has to say, but how he FEELS, that makes him a lamb to slaughter? Possibly. I’m an accountant/geek, not a clinical researcher. I’ll let a White Coat figure that out. But i can tell you now that I will buy the QVC Item of the day from the hot looking model showing me the purple and green plaid pants a hell of a lot faster than the guy showing me the 1080p flat screen 62″ tv for $9.99… maybe i’m weak?

Ok, i’m rambling and likely going to be torn to shreds by someone appalled that I’d even infer that the influencing going on is “sexual” in nature and not “content” driven. Ok .. you live in your fantasy world, i’ll live in mine.

Please dont follow me @ http://twiter.com/msh2006 … i really dont say anything engaging or influencing.

(i also dont use capitalization, punctuation, or apostrophes in my contractions)